The next man and woman difference I would like to address is driving. Now ladies, I know there are those of you out there who drive crazy and reckless and will find this next part sexist and insulting. To you I say, go with your bad ass self. For the rest of us, this is how it goes.
Why is it that men find the need to ‘teach’ when on the road. Oh, I don’t mean teach the passengers in the car anything, I mean the crazy, irrational need to teach their fellow drivers just how awful they are driving. Follow me a minute here, a woman finds someone riding her ass aggressively for miles. She finally pulls over a lane, let’s the speeder go by and get’s back over, content to go about her business. A man, however, decides to show that driver behind him who’s boss. He’ll speed up to the next car in the opposing lane if that driver behind him should even dare to attempt to pass him. HA HA, that’s right, you are boxed in now with nowhere to go, victory is mine!!! God forbid if the driver somehow does find a way to pass because now we get to become the ones riding the ass of the car that just rode our ass for the last four miles. Take that!!!
I just don’t get it. Are they born with this extra aggressive driving chromosome? Don’t they find how tense that is? I mean it takes so much energy to follow that close or to focus on making sure the guy behind you doesn’t get to get over and pass you.
Oh and there is also my favorite. The “Oh no you aren’t coming into my lane” move. I was out to lunch with my friend Jeremy, and a lady began slowly drifting over into our lane. Her car was getting closer and closer to ours and I started out saying “Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy,” until I was screaming “Jeremy!!!!” at the top of my lungs like a howler monkey on a hot plate, only to freak him out and give him permanent hearing loss, sorry about that by the way. They see someone not paying attention and instead of slowing up a bit or honking the horn they hold their ground, getting as close to the other car as possible because they are “teaching” the other car the error of their ways. Let me tell you men, if they don’t see you in the first place and realize they are drifting over, they aren’t about to put their phone down and quit texting to notice now. Years off my life, I tell you. Years off.
Needless to say Jeremy now makes me wear a blind fold if we go out to lunch. I sure hope those hearing aids don’t bother him too much.
No comments:
Post a Comment