The tale of the barking dog..

Bark! Bark! Bark!

My husband and I are dog people.  We love dogs and think that every home should have at least one.  Our dog, Lucy is the center of our universe, as I’m sure you are aware from my posting of Lucy’s birthday blog.  We believe that dogs are a member of the family and ours even has her own water mug on the nightstand beside our bed.  I choose my dog over some people I know.  Well, that is another blog in itself entirely.   

We have this neighbor that lives behind us, two houses over, that has this little dog that sits on their deck and barks and barks and barks.  Morning, barking, after work, he’s barking.  I mean, hey, we love dogs but we don’t leave our dog out for hours on end, just to bark and bark and bark.  By the way, I’m going to use the word bark as many times as I can in this blog so I can win a free pair of steak knives. 

I digress.  Okay so this dog was barking this morning, on these people’s deck when we got up, and was barking for over two hours tonight when we got home.  Now we could choose to close our windows, crank up the volume on the TV. and pretend that it is not annoying the fuck out of us, or we could do something.  I mean come on!  We decided that it is nice outside and we should be allowed to have our windows open and not hear a dog barking his balls off.

Kyle grabs the car keys and drives up to the next coldesack and knocks on their door.  Low and behold, they aren’t home.  He comes back home, madder than a wet hen.  (I love that saying.  Who ever figured out why a hen got so mad at being wet?)  Needless to say, they aren’t home.  He writes out a note stating that if they don’t start bringing their dog in when they are away, so it stops barking and disturbing everyone, we will call animal control.

The dog goes on and on barking and crying for another hour or so.  All of a sudden our doorbell rings at about 9:30.  I just know who it is.  It’s ‘THEM’.  The gigantor-sized husband, kind of hanging back, and the wife, grasping our note in her hand, looking very annoyed and granny apple faced.  “Of course it couldn’t be our dog, are you sure you saw a dog outside on our deck?”  "Are you positive you saw a dog on our deck?"

Ok really??   No idiots, it must be the crazy drugs we are tripping on that have been making us think we saw a barking dog on your deck.  If  you deny it enough, we'll just believe we didn't really see it.  Obviously we are just plain crazy.    “We’d love to discuss it further”, we say, “But we are currently playing poker with dogs and it’s the teacup poodle’s turn to deal.”

Long story short, they denied it was their dog barking and were pretty peeved about our little warning note.  Guess what folks… ever since our nice little note, and their subsequent visit to our front door, the barking neighborhood dog hasn’t made a peep.  Hmmm interesting…..

As Kyle loves to say “Me thinks she doth protest too much”.   And for those of you who don’t speak Kyle:

That means “Bitch, Get off my porch!!”