I am generally a happy; glass is more than half full, kind of person. I am not that person today. I am about to use my favorite four lettered word many, many times.
Kyle and I decided it was time to get another SUV since winter is coming and, where we live, we get a huge amount of snow even when our metro area gets none. We drove several options that he had on his ‘wish list’ and then we found it. It was like the heavens parted and the sunlight shone down from above illuminating this black beauty with tan leather interior and all the bells and whistles. To quote Ferris Bueller “It is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.” Or, in other words, this vehicle is fucking awesome!! It is one we have wanted for years and years but never thought we’d find one that we were willing to pay for, and, in such great shape. The only thing we wanted the dealership to do was to put new tires and a new windshield on it. They agreed to both and we were off and driving.
I picked it up on my way home on Tuesday and they came to put the new windshield on right at my office on Wednesday. Here comes the F word. Safelite Auto Glass fucking sucks ass!!!! Yes, I just typed that. I actually am tying so loudly that I might break a nail. I call it shout typing. Anyway, I hop in to drive this amazing vehicle home and all of a sudden I hear this sound coming from the windshield that can only be described as a Kazoo being blown by a tiny leprechaun standing on my dashboard.
Now, I’ve had windshields replaced on many different vehicles over the years. I know that sometimes it’s tough to get the seal just right and a follow up might be required. I simply called Safelite Auto Glass when I got home and told them of the problem. No worries, they would be out the next day to fix it. Upon hearing this, my husband is so pissed off, because he wants to drive his new car to work the next day, that I am worried he might pop a vein. Safelite comes back out to my office the next day and replaced the entire windshield, again, and apply new snaps and latches and doo hickeys. I’m sorry if I’m getting too technical but hey, that’s how I roll. Can you imagine my surprise when, on my way home, the same buzzing begins again? Not as bad as the day before, mind you, but still. Who the hell trained these people to replace windshields?
Fast forward to fix number three. My husband has called them and gone postal over the phone. When I say this, I mean to say that he got “I’ll cut a bitch” style mad at them. He demands that they do not send out “Jimmy”, the same tool they have sent out the first two times and knows as much about windshield installation as I do about 18th century poetry. They assure us that they are sending out the actual branch manager to fix this issue. Here’s my thoughts, stay with me a minute. When you are the kicker on a football team you have one job. Kick the ball through the fucking uprights. When you are a windshield company you have one job also. Put the fucking windshield on properly so it is sealed and correct the first time.
I left work tonight and the windshield is buzzing, yet again, and worse than ever. Let me put it to you this way. Our little Leprechaun is now completely drunk and his lung capacity on that damned Kazoo has increased ten fold. I’m seeing red at this point. I go from a normal mood to “TAKE A FUCKING HOSTAGE” mood really fast. I pulled over to call this wretched company and demand that it be fixed tonight, only to be told that they are so very sorry for my inconvenience, but there is nothing they can do until tomorrow. I was so mad, and was about to start yelling fuck, so I decided to tell the very nice, yet utterly powerless customer service guy, I’d better hang up before things got nasty.
All I can really say is, if you see a headline news story tomorrow night and it is “Woman goes crazy and takes a windshield installer hostage” you will know it’s someone you know, and it might make you think, huh, she really is off her rocker.
Tune in next time….
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