Smart Car???

           

It just baffles me why anyone in their right mind would by a Smart Car.  I mean, seriously.  You people do realize that if you are in an accident with say, a bicycle, you are dead and your car is totaled.  It really does make me wonder if it isn’t similar to the Darwin Awards.  You know, chlorinating the gene pool to rid the world of the kind of people willing to be seen in such a small, unsafe little car.  Perhaps the car’s creators thought, “There are some real morons out there and they need to be weeded out of society.  I know, let’s invent a car that is about as safe as a giant beer can with wheels, and sell it to all those planet loving, recycle crazed, hemp wearing people.  That should do it.”  It reminds me of the Yugo.  You remember the Yugo don’t you?  The tiny ‘Second Car for Your Family’ that sold for a little under $4K.  You notice how you don’t see those cars around anymore?  It’s because they are all rusting in the ‘Piece of crap car graveyard’ somewhere polluting the planet, having been crushed to death by all the big grown up cars.

I drive an SUV.  A giant, V8, gas guzzling, environment ruining SUV.  Hey, don’t look at me like that.  I recycle.  I donate old clothes to charity, I use the recycle paper bins at work, hey, I even drop my daily pop can in appropriate bin in the kitchen at work.  It’s not that I’m against the planet.  What I’m against are those lame little cars on the road.  They just look so stupid and so very dangerous.  Do you know the guilt you Smart Car drivers are putting other drivers like me through?  No, I’m not talking about the guilt of us others wasting our precious resources by using all the crude oil on the planet, I’m talking about the guilt I will feel when I run over what I think is a speed bump and, in fact, it’s you and your Smart Car squashed underneath my SUV, like a pop can under my foot.  You should be ashamed of yourself for even putting me through the possibility.

And no, when your Smart Car breaks down, although it would fit, I won’t put it in the back of my SUV and take you to the garage.