Another Man / Woman Difference

Another crazy difference between men and women is pooping habits.  Yep, I just typed pooping.  Men are so open about it that they'll walk down the hall with reading material in hand, as if to advertise exactly how they are planning to spend the next 5 or so minutes.  Reading and pooping.  Pooping and reading and grunting it all out with no care or regard to how many other men are in the room, probably doing the exact same thing.

Women however treat this act way more discretely.  We don't do it in front of other women, ever.  When you walk in a women's bathroom you can always tell if you need to get in and get out right away.  If you see feet under the stalls and hear only silence you respect the fellow bathroom patron and hurry along to give them their privacy.  It is universally known as 'The Women's Bathroom Code'.  We don't want to hear it happening while we are in there, we don't want someone else to hear it when it's us doing it.  There is nothing worse in the world, (okay I may be overstating a little, I mean there are starving children and all that) but truley nothing sucks worse than when you gotta go and you hear the door open and someone else enters the bathroom.  You hold really still, blow your nose, adjust yourself on the seat, anything and everything to prevent yourself from pooping and, god forbid, the other woman in the bathroom hearing it.  Don't even consider the horror if a little fart were to squeek out.  You might as well quit your job for fear of the fellow bathroom pal discovering it was you.  I know it's crazy and the men reading this are shaking their heads and the women are nodding saying Mmm hmmm, true that.

I had a friend who moved to California soon after she graduated high school and she ended up moving in with her boyfriend.  She was so paranoid to poop in the house that she would go to the gas station on the corner.  Every single day she had to poop, she'd journey out.

I even went as far as making my husband sit on the front porch of our house when I first moved in with him when I needed to go.  I was that paranoid he'd hear, and know that yes, I poop too.   12 1/2 years later, that is so not the case.  The mystery is gone, the jig is up.  Now I let him stay in the house.  Just on another floor.